i still love you

The glow of one warm thought - a thought of you is mto me worth more than all the riches of the world.I keep seeing you in all the familiar places , this heart of mine embraces you ...all through the day.
I didnt know and i probably dont know as of yet to say "i love you" but i do love you in my own way and God knows that I do.i love on dreams -you know and you know i just cant go through life like this-I am scared.
i dont know if God is there, if god's been there ever---as a kid i was taught not to ask god for favours, just ask for strength,courage and wisdom was all i was taught.i never asked for a favoour --but everytime i feel like i am going to be happy at last why is it that you leave me high and dry in the middle all alone to groan and cry and suffer in agony.why cant you leave me in peace for a certain period of time??
loneliness strikes often like the sudenness of the lightnng storm.I try not to permit the pain to overtake me.I try to believe when you say thet You are very happy without me.My room at times becomes a hell island where i am to serve a sentence . It imprisons me yet liberates me in so many ways.I have learned that when you have accomplished without fear the ability to go far with yourself, lovelessness and emotional starvation relieved---you come in an awesome splendour.

like the old almost forgotten number i would like to sing..

I saw you last night

And got that old feeling

when you came in sight

i got that old feeling

the moment you passed by

i felt the thrill

and when i caught my eye

my heart stood still

once agan i seemed to feel

that old yearning

and i knew the spark of love

was still burning

i dont know nor do i understand how long must i be punished ....how long must i bear the pain of your thinkin that i tried to decieve you.

Your memory keeps coming and going in my mind all through the day they keep hanging around all through the day like the one in twilight when the lights are low and the flickering shadows come and go.

I feel like these trees in the forest rooted where are they are unable to live a life unable to move on..unable to particaipate in the fun that might go all around them...but they have to keep a smiling face and keep serving on and on...their pains never understood nor realised...and they are helpless and have to burn in the forest fire when that comes.....i am burning too i have nowhere to run nor hide......beacause no matter what i say i am still loving you..