Dear Dad,
I miss you so much. I have dreams again and again in which I make plans with you -- to go to lunch, to get together, its been hard for me even after all these years its very hard for me, i know how much my nephew is going to miss you and how much love he is missing now Please help me to be a good human, guide me as you always did; come to me and fill me with your endless capacity for love and strength. Dad, I miss you so much that it physically hurts me. There are times when I feel like I can't breathe, like my chest is going to explode. I know that you will always be there in my heart, but I don't know if that will be enough for me. You are the best man I have ever known. Whenever I achieved something the look in your eyes, the pride resonating from you brought tears then and bring more now more because I miss you when I do something good and I know that you would have been proud of that. God how I miss you. You were my best friend, my best buddy since I was a baby. You taught me so much -- you gave me the world. I have so much to be grateful for, but I feel shorted. Dad, we should have had another 20 or 30 years may be more I will try to give the world back things you taught me and things you did to make the world a little better for all in your own little and special ways. Now I understand what you meant by saying that do a little and little things mean a lot and little drops of water make the mighty ocean.For my whole life, you stood behind me, supporting me, encouraging me, getting me out of trouble, teaching me, getting after me, loving me. For every time that I hurt you, ever, little or big , I am so sorry. I am consoled by the fact that you knew I loved you. I am overwhelmed with sadness and joy at the same time as I remember you reading the cards or letters what ever I wrote and crying (or trying not to and inevitably failing). In my life nothing could make me cry more than watching you cry.
I miss those moments when you would scold me in front of mom for playing too much and she never suspected that you were the one encouraging me and sponsoring me for all those things , like those karate classes or the soccer, swimming or cricket games. Your support and preparing me for the debates or your interest in quiz took me to where I went. Your interest about all things in life and earth taught me about the mysteries of life on earth thank you for everything.Dad, I feel like I can't mess up anymore. You may be able to show me spiritually, but you can't be there physically to rescue me. You have done a wonderful job of preparing me for the difficulties and the joys of life, but I feel lost without you anyway. I am trying to live life one day at a time and not to obsess about the times to come when I will miss you so I know that I could not have done so for being there all the time and preparing me for the hardships of life... I'll try to be more in touch with my spirituality -- you know that's not easy for me. I'll try not to take the world on my shoulders all the time. I still remember that fateful night when God decided to take you back and you decided to do it in my arms.I know that it is good that you didn't have to suffer a long and lingering death. I know, but if one more person tells me that I might explode. You were too young and too vital to go so soon. Dad, please remember all the things that I told you before and after you left this life. I know it was right after you left this life for the next, but remember at the hospital, right after, when I held your hand and talked to you, remember when Mom came and we talked to you, remember an hour or two later, after I sent everyone away and held you and talked some more I love you so deeply I don’t know if you ever miss me now or not but I do. As I sit here typing this and crying, I see your smiling face, I feel your big solid slap on the back, I feel your bear hug and hear you say "I love you." You were the King. Your crown prince loves you and misses you. Thanks for telling me that you loved me virtually every day of my life. I know I gave you my thank you's when I said goodbye, but if you don't remember in the commotion of moving on: thank you for football, for coaching me, teaching me, taking me to games,; thank you for the zoo; thank you for the excursions that you managed for us .thank you for your sobriety; thank you for my sobriety; thank you for late night movies, for letting me stay up late with my Dad; thank you for teaching me that family always comes first, no matter what; thank you for giving me your name; thank you for always, always, always putting your children first; thank you for making me understand that my motherland is so graet and always standing by my dreams, thank you for eighteen years of private schools; thank you for always being there for me, no matter what; thank you for teaching me about everything, and for learning about the things that I was interested in that you didn't know about; thank you for your honesty, thank you for your friendship; thank you for respecting my opinion and talking to me like I was an adult even when I was little; thank you for sharing your life with me; thank you for teaching me about right and wrong and showing me the courage to step forward to do right and challenge wrong; thank you for the trips to the hospital, time and again, for this injury or illness or that; thank you for your warmth, for your hardy laugh, your twinkling eyes; thank you for teaching how to think, how to act; thank you for being a gentleman, and trying to teach me how to be one, even if it wasn't always in our nature; thank you for yard work; thank you for the circus; thank you for the thousands of sporting events, performances, plays and the like that you took me to; thank you for calling me at six in the morning and razzing me and muttering about the early to rise slogans, thank you for waiting me whatever time of the night it was even during your illness at that time some of these things bugged me but now I understand and that’s what you always told me that I will understand these all when you are gone…thank you for that prophecy too; thank you for your righteous indignation, I have never seen anyone else come close; thank you for demanding that I do my best; thank you for coaching and for teaching me how to coach; thank you for a lifetime of love, support, kindness, warmth and friendship; thank you for exposing me to restaurants, theater, cultural events, sports -- for showing me the world; thank you for teaching me how to win and how to lose with class; thank you for war movies and westerns; thank you for not being perfect, but for always striving to be better, to grow, learn and develop; thank you for you, for being the man you are and were and for always loving me so well and so much.
I miss those moments when you would scold me in front of mom for playing too much and she never suspected that you were the one encouraging me and sponsoring me for all those things , like those karate classes or the soccer, swimming or cricket games. Your support and preparing me for the debates or your interest in quiz took me to where I went. Your interest about all things in life and earth taught me about the mysteries of life on earth thank you for everything.Dad, I feel like I can't mess up anymore. You may be able to show me spiritually, but you can't be there physically to rescue me. You have done a wonderful job of preparing me for the difficulties and the joys of life, but I feel lost without you anyway. I am trying to live life one day at a time and not to obsess about the times to come when I will miss you so I know that I could not have done so for being there all the time and preparing me for the hardships of life... I'll try to be more in touch with my spirituality -- you know that's not easy for me. I'll try not to take the world on my shoulders all the time. I still remember that fateful night when God decided to take you back and you decided to do it in my arms.I know that it is good that you didn't have to suffer a long and lingering death. I know, but if one more person tells me that I might explode. You were too young and too vital to go so soon. Dad, please remember all the things that I told you before and after you left this life. I know it was right after you left this life for the next, but remember at the hospital, right after, when I held your hand and talked to you, remember when Mom came and we talked to you, remember an hour or two later, after I sent everyone away and held you and talked some more I love you so deeply I don’t know if you ever miss me now or not but I do. As I sit here typing this and crying, I see your smiling face, I feel your big solid slap on the back, I feel your bear hug and hear you say "I love you." You were the King. Your crown prince loves you and misses you. Thanks for telling me that you loved me virtually every day of my life. I know I gave you my thank you's when I said goodbye, but if you don't remember in the commotion of moving on: thank you for football, for coaching me, teaching me, taking me to games,; thank you for the zoo; thank you for the excursions that you managed for us .thank you for your sobriety; thank you for my sobriety; thank you for late night movies, for letting me stay up late with my Dad; thank you for teaching me that family always comes first, no matter what; thank you for giving me your name; thank you for always, always, always putting your children first; thank you for making me understand that my motherland is so graet and always standing by my dreams, thank you for eighteen years of private schools; thank you for always being there for me, no matter what; thank you for teaching me about everything, and for learning about the things that I was interested in that you didn't know about; thank you for your honesty, thank you for your friendship; thank you for respecting my opinion and talking to me like I was an adult even when I was little; thank you for sharing your life with me; thank you for teaching me about right and wrong and showing me the courage to step forward to do right and challenge wrong; thank you for the trips to the hospital, time and again, for this injury or illness or that; thank you for your warmth, for your hardy laugh, your twinkling eyes; thank you for teaching how to think, how to act; thank you for being a gentleman, and trying to teach me how to be one, even if it wasn't always in our nature; thank you for yard work; thank you for the circus; thank you for the thousands of sporting events, performances, plays and the like that you took me to; thank you for calling me at six in the morning and razzing me and muttering about the early to rise slogans, thank you for waiting me whatever time of the night it was even during your illness at that time some of these things bugged me but now I understand and that’s what you always told me that I will understand these all when you are gone…thank you for that prophecy too; thank you for your righteous indignation, I have never seen anyone else come close; thank you for demanding that I do my best; thank you for coaching and for teaching me how to coach; thank you for a lifetime of love, support, kindness, warmth and friendship; thank you for exposing me to restaurants, theater, cultural events, sports -- for showing me the world; thank you for teaching me how to win and how to lose with class; thank you for war movies and westerns; thank you for not being perfect, but for always striving to be better, to grow, learn and develop; thank you for you, for being the man you are and were and for always loving me so well and so much.
Thank you for the world that you brought me and for all the good things I am. I think about you every time I experience any of the things above; you brought them to me and to this day -- and for every day to come -- when I think of them or see or experience them, I think of you. I do love you so. God bless and love you, I certainly do.
Goodnight Daddy, I love you,
