some thoughts

i know i am a nothing to you and a good for nothing to myself and the rst of the world.A good for nothings life can be interesting too..no responsibilities,dont have to depend on others and no one to care for and no need to be cared too...people remember you when in need and quickly forget you when its over and they dont hesitate to throw you away from your life once its over just like a used tissue..Good for nothings are not supposed to have sentiments and emotions..that is extravagance.
Teardrops make your name the sms or the mails you sent hazy..blurr them ...if this way i could have made you untraceable in my life i wish i could have been a river.
am always trying to keep my emotions ,feelings words everything deep inside me like those olden days without you but now that you have opened me up they always fizzle out,it gets very difficult to keep them behind the floodgates but i am honestly trying.oh lord if i could stop loving you or bottle me up once again behind that mask of being happy and funny once again because of the hurts and insults and the pains you are dishing me out everyday eb=very moment of this life ..its very difficult to withstand them anymore..i just lie here with the broken wings writhing in pain and you give a damn about it!!is it?i lie here helpless looking at the sky which was once my domain where i could fly soar above the rest and be happy..
Thank you for reminding me that Your God creates some people not to be happy, destined not to be loved and to be misunderstood by default.you came and changed it all and i felt its going to change but i forgot life too can have commercial breaks.Funny it may sound but that is the truth about my life..
How can i make you believe make you understand make you understand it all?I dont know nor do i have any clue.In fairy tales all cursed people know or their godmother tells them a way out of their misery but at times i feel the only way out for me is another life..You know..thats why at times i feel eager to end it all..the i feel that would be selfish of me because i cant leave you alone in this world as you too have only me and no-one else..maybe now you are surrounde with friends and family but i know you are lonely out there just like me and craving for me cos deep inside you know who is there for you..who really cares and loves you true from the heart........waiting there somewhere alone in the dark...that might be giving you the confidence the strength to carry on.Maybe my thoughts are like the glowworms in a dark room which gives you hope and a will to survive and carry on reminding you that you are not alone..theres someone ...a good for nothing maybe but all yours..
You know cyberspace gave us a lot of things but have taken away more than that..You know what i mean..the anonimity i have here expressing myself is a bliss.fast life is blinding all the way..but the end is blinding with tears ...as you find yourself all alone left with nothing as you have left the people who love you and care a way behind....you are very very lonely out there...its like conquering the highest peak and you look around and find an emptiness all around..
you are my past my present my future...my bits and pieces of dreams a collage of what i have and what i dont...a locked door to my fairy tale where all stories have happy endings-"AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER"...where beasts are also loved by princess.you are the connecting link between my life and death..when i go i will go concontempted and complete unafraid as i will go with the feeling and knowing from the heart that i still love you as you do too...and i dont belong in this world of yours..you will be the only one to know about the last days of my pain and misery..and the reason i chose to quit it all...that will be your punishment which will make you realise someday what you meant to me and that you were my reason to live my reason to smile and the you meant my happiness,my power my pleasure my pain my joy my sorrow my pride my patience my hope my everything.You are the centre of my universe around whom my world revolved.
You are still the one.i can still see your face , listen to your laughter see the dreams even in the dark and sometimes my mind starts to wonder do you see them too?when i feel cold i still draw the covers thinking of you and i can feel the warmth and your presnece and i no longer feel lonely..the world around me changes every moment bet that desnt change me nor my feelings for you neither the things that we have shared.the memory remains along with the emotions the feelings the love for each other..i try to steal into your mind and whisper thiose sweet nothings into your ears..then i try to hate you and be angry with youand then i lose it all..i know i cant stop loving you as my love grows with each passing moment.
Deep inside i feel a emptiness a helplessness a loneliness yet i have to put a mask of happiness on before i go out...i dont want people to sympathise me or make fun of my feelings...i dont wnat anyone to know theres a strom in my head and heart...i want that storm outside that will destroy it all and i can stand alone and cry out loud and let the tears flow...

bridge over troubled water

When youre weary, feeling small,

When tears are in your eyes,

I will dry them all;

Im on your side.

when times get rough

And friends just cant be found,

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.

When youre down and out,

When youre on the street,

When evening falls so hard

I will comfort you.

Ill take your part.

When darkness comes

And pains is all around,

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl,Sail on by.

Your time has come to shine.

All your dreams are on their way.

See how they shine.

If you need a friend

Im sailing right behind.

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind.

Like a bridge over troubled water

I will ease your mind.

yeah kahan aa gaye hum..

Main aur meri tanhaai aksar yeh baatein karte hain

Tum hoti to kaisa hota, tum yeh kehti, tum voh kehti

Tum is baat pe hairaan hoti, tum us baat pe kitni hansti

Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to vaisa hota

Main aur meri tanhaai aksar yeh baatein karte hain

Yeh kahan aa gaye humYunhi saath saath chalte

Teri baahon mein hai jaanam

Mere jism-o-jaan pighalte

Yeh kahan aa gaye hum

Yunhi saath saath chalte

Yeh raat hai, yeh tumhaari zulfein khuli hui hai

Hai chaandni ya tumhaari nazrein se meri raatein dhuli hui hai

Yeh chaand hai ya tumhaara kangan

Sitaarein hai ya tumhaara aanchal

Hawa ka jhonka hai ya tumhaare badan ki khushboo

Yeh pattiyon ki hai sarsaraahat ke tumne chupke se kuch kaha hai

Yeh sochta hoon main kab se gumsum

Ke jab ki mujhko bhi yeh khabar hai

Ke tum nahin ho, kahin nahin ho

Magar yeh dil hai ke keh raha hai

Ke tum yahin ho, yahin kahin ho

O, tu badan hai main hoon chhaaya

Tu na ho to main kahan hoon

Mujhe pyaar karne waale

Tu jahan hai main vahan hoon

Hamein milna hi tha hamdam

Issi raah pe nikalte

Yeh kahan aa gaye hum

Yunhi saath saath chalte, meri saans saans ma

hekeKoi bheena bheena chandan

Tera pyaar chaandni hai

Mera dil hai jaise aangan

Koi aur bhi mulaayam

Meri shaam dhalte dhalte

Yeh kahan aa gaye hum

Yunhi saath saath chalte

Majboor yeh haalaat, idhar bhi hai udhar bhi

Tanhaai ki ek raat, idhar bhi hai udhar bhi

Kehne ko bahut kuch hai, magar kisse kahe hum

Kab tak yunhi khaamosh rahe aur sahe hum

Dil kehta hai duniya ki har ek rasm utha de

Deevaar jo hum dono mein hai, aaj gira de

Kyoon dil mein sulagte rahe, logon ko bata de

Haan humko mohabbat hai, mohabbat hai, mohabbat

Ab dil mein yehi baat, idhar bhi hai udhar bhi

Yeh kahan aa gaye hum

Yunhi saath saath chalte

Yeh kahan aa gaye hum

outsider..thats me!!!

Someone else is in your arms tonight

While Im all alone and blue

Someone else will kiss and hold you tight

Just the way I used to do

I used to be your love

And now Im your used to be

Outsider, thats me

Youll be dancing cheek to cheek with him

To our favorite melody

And the tender words you speak to him

Will be words you spoke to me

Once I was in your hearts

Now someone else holds the key

Outsider, thats me*

I want you so much (so much)

I can look (you can look) but must not touch

I keep waiting for the phone to ring

But I know its all in vain

When you left me you took everything

But the memories and the pain

I used to be your love

And now Im your used to be

Outsider, thats me

Outsider, thats me

sound of silence...simon and garfunkel

Hello darkness, my old friend,

Ive come to talk with you again,

Because a vision softly creeping,

Left its seeds while I was sleeping,

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone,

neath the halo of a street lamp,

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of

A neon lightThat split the night

And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more.

People talking without speaking,

People hearing without listening,

People writing songs that voices never share

And no one deared

Disturb the sound of silence.

Fools said i,you do not know

Silence like a cancer grows.

Hear my words that I might teach you,

Take my arms that I might reach you.

But my words like silent raindrops fell,

And echoed

In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon God they made.

And the sign flashed out its warning,

In the words that it was forming.

And the signs said, the words of the prophets

Are written on the subway walls

And tenement halls.

And whisperd in the sounds of silence.

just got emotional....

The feeling I have now, my jaan, is really indescribable. I was fighting the existence of this great distance between us and yet it came to me striking hard where it hurts the most - being away from you. I wan't to cry, you know, in fact I did, I need to. It hurts me so much to know your state, the fact that I am not with you. How useless, heartless, worthless am I.I just want to tell you how sorry I am. Terribly, terribly sorry. I was like a child crying in the shadows, like I want to hit something or shout. I miss you, I terribly do. Yet that longing cannot equate the love I have for you. And you may be thinking by now that all I tell you are mere words without proof. I will be home soon my love. I will be there.I love you with all of my heart and soul. All that I am, I owe you. I will be there. "I'll walk in the rain by your side, I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand, I'll do anything to keep you satisfied. I love you more than anybody can."If God forbid, and transfer to me all the pain you are having right now, I would gladly take it, even if it leads me to stop breathing. For that is nothing compared to the joy, satisfaction and completion that the mere mention of your name brings me. For to hold that pain for you shall be my honor and privilege. I have nothing to be proud of but you.My existence has no purpose but to be with you. I want for the both of us is to be happy. I want you be my back bone, my soul, and my air that I breathe. I want to see us grow old together if that is what you are ready for.
Why didn't I felt hatred and pain towards you? Instead, I felt happiness and hope that these things will be endless. I already believed that answers come when you stop asking, believed that you can take back the love you thought you've lost, and believed in soul mates. Because if not, why are we here in for each other? Why in the world have we met ?I don't want to ask anymore. I just want this to last even if this will result in just being friends. Staying - even without promises, is more than enough. I don't want to wish for more than this. Remaining as friends is enough for me to assure that you will stay not forever, but for as long as I live ... I loved you then and I still love you now.
Here I am in bed lying here listening to the sound of the winds gently brushing on my window as if it wants to come in. My CD is on with calming music blending into the sound of the breeze mixing it with the sound of crickets or the lonely owls that hoot all alone. It is so calming, relaxing and saddening too. My mind is free of all that troubles me. I lay here in a dream-like state, my mind wondering where ever it wants, daydreaming in a world that is mine alone.My thoughts turn to you and my mind reaches a new state, another dream, another wish but alas I am only dreaming, my mind listening to my heart. In my daydream, I see the way you look at me clearly, no misinterpretations, with a knowing feeling. Am I dreaming? I MUST BE! My mind turns again arguing with the heart, both trying to understand, wanting the answer, the truth. The mind telling me, "You will only get hurt again," The heart saying it doesn't matter, the mind wanting to give up, the heart not wanting to let go. I close my eyes and I see you. The sound of the breeze reminds me of your smile, and like everyday, a strange feeling rushes over me. I smile, the heart and mind at peace, once again calm and happy, all knowing the truth - what is real and what is just a dream!

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main

Maa Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin

Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa

Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa

Bheed Mein Yun Na Chhoro Mujhe

Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon

Maa Bhej Na Itna Door Mujkko

Tu Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon

Maa Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main

Maa Kya Itna Bura Meri Maa
Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe

Jor Zor Se Jhoola Jhulate Hain

Maa Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe

Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi

Maa Unse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin Par

Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin

Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon

Maa Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa

Maa Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Meri Maa

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin

Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main

Maa Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin

Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main

Maa Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na

Maa Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa

i will be right here waiting for you....richard marx

Oceans apart day after day

And I slowly go insane

I hear your voice on the line

But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never

How can we say forever

Wherever you go

Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times

That I though would last somehow

I hear the laughter, I taste the tears

But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby

You've got me goin' CrAzY

Wherever you go

Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes

Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive

This romance

But in the end if I'm with you

I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby

You've got me goin' cRaZy

Wherever you go

Whatever you do I will be right here waiting for you

Whatever it takes Or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you