The feeling I have now, my jaan, is really indescribable. I was fighting the existence of this great distance between us and yet it came to me striking hard where it hurts the most - being away from you. I wan't to cry, you know, in fact I did, I need to. It hurts me so much to know your state, the fact that I am not with you. How useless, heartless, worthless am I.I just want to tell you how sorry I am. Terribly, terribly sorry. I was like a child crying in the shadows, like I want to hit something or shout. I miss you, I terribly do. Yet that longing cannot equate the love I have for you. And you may be thinking by now that all I tell you are mere words without proof. I will be home soon my love. I will be there.I love you with all of my heart and soul. All that I am, I owe you. I will be there. "I'll walk in the rain by your side, I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand, I'll do anything to keep you satisfied. I love you more than anybody can."If God forbid, and transfer to me all the pain you are having right now, I would gladly take it, even if it leads me to stop breathing. For that is nothing compared to the joy, satisfaction and completion that the mere mention of your name brings me. For to hold that pain for you shall be my honor and privilege. I have nothing to be proud of but you.My existence has no purpose but to be with you. I want for the both of us is to be happy. I want you be my back bone, my soul, and my air that I breathe. I want to see us grow old together if that is what you are ready for.
Why didn't I felt hatred and pain towards you? Instead, I felt happiness and hope that these things will be endless. I already believed that answers come when you stop asking, believed that you can take back the love you thought you've lost, and believed in soul mates. Because if not, why are we here in for each other? Why in the world have we met ?I don't want to ask anymore. I just want this to last even if this will result in just being friends. Staying - even without promises, is more than enough. I don't want to wish for more than this. Remaining as friends is enough for me to assure that you will stay not forever, but for as long as I live ... I loved you then and I still love you now.
Here I am in bed lying here listening to the sound of the winds gently brushing on my window as if it wants to come in. My CD is on with calming music blending into the sound of the breeze mixing it with the sound of crickets or the lonely owls that hoot all alone. It is so calming, relaxing and saddening too. My mind is free of all that troubles me. I lay here in a dream-like state, my mind wondering where ever it wants, daydreaming in a world that is mine alone.My thoughts turn to you and my mind reaches a new state, another dream, another wish but alas I am only dreaming, my mind listening to my heart. In my daydream, I see the way you look at me clearly, no misinterpretations, with a knowing feeling. Am I dreaming? I MUST BE! My mind turns again arguing with the heart, both trying to understand, wanting the answer, the truth. The mind telling me, "You will only get hurt again," The heart saying it doesn't matter, the mind wanting to give up, the heart not wanting to let go. I close my eyes and I see you. The sound of the breeze reminds me of your smile, and like everyday, a strange feeling rushes over me. I smile, the heart and mind at peace, once again calm and happy, all knowing the truth - what is real and what is just a dream!
Why didn't I felt hatred and pain towards you? Instead, I felt happiness and hope that these things will be endless. I already believed that answers come when you stop asking, believed that you can take back the love you thought you've lost, and believed in soul mates. Because if not, why are we here in for each other? Why in the world have we met ?I don't want to ask anymore. I just want this to last even if this will result in just being friends. Staying - even without promises, is more than enough. I don't want to wish for more than this. Remaining as friends is enough for me to assure that you will stay not forever, but for as long as I live ... I loved you then and I still love you now.
Here I am in bed lying here listening to the sound of the winds gently brushing on my window as if it wants to come in. My CD is on with calming music blending into the sound of the breeze mixing it with the sound of crickets or the lonely owls that hoot all alone. It is so calming, relaxing and saddening too. My mind is free of all that troubles me. I lay here in a dream-like state, my mind wondering where ever it wants, daydreaming in a world that is mine alone.My thoughts turn to you and my mind reaches a new state, another dream, another wish but alas I am only dreaming, my mind listening to my heart. In my daydream, I see the way you look at me clearly, no misinterpretations, with a knowing feeling. Am I dreaming? I MUST BE! My mind turns again arguing with the heart, both trying to understand, wanting the answer, the truth. The mind telling me, "You will only get hurt again," The heart saying it doesn't matter, the mind wanting to give up, the heart not wanting to let go. I close my eyes and I see you. The sound of the breeze reminds me of your smile, and like everyday, a strange feeling rushes over me. I smile, the heart and mind at peace, once again calm and happy, all knowing the truth - what is real and what is just a dream!
Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main
Maa Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa
Bheed Mein Yun Na Chhoro Mujhe
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon
Maa Bhej Na Itna Door Mujkko
Tu Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon
Maa Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main
Maa Kya Itna Bura Meri Maa
Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe
Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe
Jor Zor Se Jhoola Jhulate Hain
Maa Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe
Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi
Maa Unse Main Yeh Kehta Nahin Par
Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin
Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon
Maa Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa
Maa Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Meri Maa
Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main
Maa Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main
Maa Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na
Maa Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa
No comments:
Post a Comment